Random one.

So tonight I'm being completely spastic. We are watching the UNC game...against Duke and I swanny If they don't win I'm going to just flip a lid! (Not really I'm just imagining what it would be like to feel that passionate about it). I do want them to win though. I must say however, I'm more than a tad disappointed by Roy's 'tude these days. I guess I understand it, but my image of him is taking a hit.

What about "In Roy We Trust?" UNC fans? I mean, sports (from my tenderhearted perspective) just don't make sense sometimes. All you folks who jumped on the big band wagon when we were the national champions and have suddenly very vocally jumped ship in light of recent losses (I realize I just said wagon and ship in the same metaphor) just don't make sense. Once you're in...you're in. People should take care of their own back yards and let Roy handle his (Bobby would insert a smart remark right about now). I realize I'm on metaphor overload. Sorry. That's all I will probably ever say about that.

I'm writing a novel. Pray. I want to finish it and tonight I started thinking about how I'm 25 (well almost) and I started the thing at 21. Oh dear! So I peppered Bobby with questions about my writing ability:
Me:"Do you think I'm a writer?"
Bobby: "Yes baby. Of course I do."
Me: "Well what if I never get published?"
Bobby: "You have to try."
Me: whiny, dramatic sighing...
Bobby: "You can't not try."

Story of all of our lives right? We can't just "not try". So we try at most everything we do each day (laundry, cooking, time managment, support raising, being a good friend). I am starting to relax just a little with the process of "trying". I have to remind myself that writing should be done because it's fun and I feel called to it. I should do it because it's inside me and not because I am performance anxietying my way through it.

In other news, Bobby is missing his drums these days! He got a mandolin and a recorder to quench the thirst to play. He also has a harmonica and every time "Fool in the Rain" comes on he wales on it. I'm very proud of any and all of his musical escapades. I clap and yell "Hercules! Hercules" when he learns a new song. (Sorry for The Nutty Professor reference. That movie actually made me cry.)

We are at 84% towards getting to full support! Praise God for his constant provision. Wanted to let you all know. Thanks for the prayers you've sent up. We feel them.

K Loving it!

Bobby's b-day is coming up!! Last year we went to Sears wearing weird clothes and had fake engagement photos taken. We practiced in the car before and Bobby taught me to smile as awkwardly as possible. It was glorious. Can anyone help me top that?



Warning: This is going to be my most KLOVE ish post to date. (KLOVE is a Christian radio station that leans on the cheesy side, but I listen to it almost all the time. It's not Bobby's favorite however. It's slogan is "postitive, encouraging, KLove!" sung in a little jingle. So anytime we go somewhere in my car Bobby can't wait to change the station and sing "negative, discouraging, Other stations!" to the same tune.

I am usually intense and introspective, but I try to limit that to my time with the Lord. But, I also want to be vulnerable to some degree and since you know about my recent brush with the law I'm feeling a little more bold in what I'll share.

So we've focused on building our team of minisitry partners since August. We've watched God abundantly provide us with support and prayer partners. Today, however, I had a moment when I just felt weary and tired. Then I heard this song that Jesus plays for me when I'm having a blind moment in regards to his purpose and it made me want to curl up in a comfy chair and sip Chick fil A coffee and rest in Christ. (Which lucky for me the office has a comfy arm chair and chick fil A(spelling here?) is giving away free coffee all week). So I leaned back into the chair and let Christ have whatever burdens I commonly carry around. Here are a few stanzas:
oh gently lay your head upon my chest
and I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
the tide can change so fast, but I will stay
the same through past, the same in future, same today

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
your heart's desires

oh weary, tired and worn, let out your sighs
and drop that heavy load you hold 'cause Mine is light
I know you through and through; there's no need to hide
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

It's by Jill Phillips. God played it once when I had a migraine in the middle of Daytona Beach Summer Project and I felt so lonely and frustrated. I heard the song and it reminded me that God is constant. God is constant. He will never change and his emotions arn't based on my performance! My headache didn't go away, but I let God into my situation and it changed my response. I love when God meets us right where we are. I want to believe that I shouldn't hide anything from my Savior. His peace really does shatter secret fears (fear of failure or rejection).

I was an English Major. Words minister to me more than anything else. For some people it's nature. I personally can go outside and be out for hours without even looking up at the sky. However, I do see God through words. I actually fell in love with him that way. In middle school I wrote letters to Jesus. I dished about everything I'd experienced during the day. (Y'all know the drama of middle school- frizzy hair plus braces plus lack of athleticism makes for an awkward couple of years... no need for elaboration here :)) And God met me. I felt him delight in the words I wrote and cry with me or laugh with me (and also probably at me sometimes. Ex: I flipped out about wanting to find my husband at the age of 13. My parents dated when they were that age so I blame them for my unrealistic expectations here! ) Anyway, God's grace covered all things (even the silly ones) and I felt God's intense concern and care for me at that age. I trusted him.

I've met my intensity quota for the day. Bobby will be relieved :)! Now that you all know my passion for words you can also be comforted by the fact that I regularly stalk your blogs to learn all I can from your words. Lindsey... thanks for the encouragment to keep updating.

Check out this video if you haven't seen it. I think that Handerson's okay (little Hatian boy from the TLC Barefoot school... keep praying for the others though.) http://www.youtube.comwatch?v=3tX1ElrtA6s This gave me so much hope. I love the way this little boy is so joyful to be alive!!! I LOVE it!

Bobby should update next time. He loves to share about middle school drama and looking for his wife in the 7th grade! kidding.

Dag Gum.

Today I (Jenna) exercised for the first time this week. It is my New Years resolution to do so at least three times a week. My highest record is twice a week since January began. I'm happy with that though. My second resolution is to not put so much dag gum pressure on every part of my life. So I'm learning to just be pleased with how it happens each week and not worry about the space between reality and perfection. (By the way, the usage of the word "dag gum" is in honor of my sweet Bobby. He uses it many many times a day and "dag gummit" is for when he is super stressed).

I thought "dag gummit" today because I unfortunately sustained an unsightly citation for operation of a motor vehicle at a higher velocity than required by the state of North Carolina. I got a ticket. It was the worst. I sped up to get around a truck that was backing into the middle of the road and then I didn't decelerate as soon as I should have. So I had to just admit the fact that I was speeding. The cop pulled me over in front of our office (mortifying let me just say) and listened to my explanation as my hands shook while getting my license out. I really should start watching more of those cop shows on tv. Then I wouldn't have been so shaken up. The cop wasn't mean at all, just stern. I called Bobby when he went to write a citation and sobbed my face off. His words: "It's okay. Get it together for me. Don't cry when he comes back. Do you want me to come out there?" My response: "No!!! Don't do that. I can handle it. I'll call you to come outside when he leaves." When the cop drove away I got out my cell phone to call Bobby when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him. He had gone outside the backdoor of the office and was hidden behind the building to watch the cop hand me the ticket. He was watching to make sure I was okay. I was. It's just one of those things that happens when you least expect it... and usually when you are speeding.

Tonight we had pork chops with our basketball. I've changed so much in marriage. I just sincerely prayed that NC State could hang on and beat Duke. I meant it too.

I am off to a babysitting job in the morning. Ten babies, two babysitters (including me), bring it!

Ticket or not- we are so very blessed.

Sitting in the Waiting Room

We are watching Clemson play the rambling wreck of Georgia Tech. That's what Bobby's been singing at least for the past few days. It's a close game and Bobby just screamed "boom shacalaca" and air pumped his fist. I am wearing my "J" apron over my white long sleeve tee and just made easy peasy spaghetti. One of my specialties. This is what I always imagined married life to be like. Spaghetti and Basketball. I love it. (Bobby just threw his hat just so you are aware- the game is getting heated).


My friend Ashley B. came for a visit on Sunday. It was glorious. We laughed so hard that my stomach hurt and I had to run to the sink during dinner to spit my drink out. The best part is neither of us had any idea why we were laughing. Bobby just watched the whole thing play out,

What I didn't expect in married life happened today. It centered around the trek to the Social Security office in North Raleigh where we journeyed to change my name on my card. It takes forever to do that kind of thing. We got there after driving thirty minutes from the office and realized we'd forgotten (like morons :)) our marriage license. Bobby had to drive a full thirty minutes back to Apex and then back to Raleigh. That was fine though because he left me to fend for myself in the line. (#373 in the general line). It was crazy town in there because so many people were hot, ticked off and disliking the wait.

I heard a sermon recently where the pastor was talking about "waiting" and one of the things that makes it bearable is knowing that everyone waiting with you is equally perturbed. I watched that unfold. One woman waiting to be seen took it upon herself to patrol the crowd for any person using a cell phone because the signs clearly said "NO CELL PHONES". It totally cracked me up. She didn't work for the government. She just wanted to focus her energy I guess. I looked at all the different faces and unsaid stories in that little room and actually thought about how amazing God is as our creator. Not one person in there looked alike and yet everyone was equal in that room. Each person deserved the same attention and got it... even if it took a little longer than average.

It also made me think about the chaos in Haiti right now. All of my parent's friends at the TLC Barefoot school in Port Au Prince survived. I know God spared them for his glory and for his purpose. There is still a search for Handerson (a little boy they support- he is PRECIOUS). They think he and his family may have fled the city to the countryside for safety. Please pray for him and for the people surviving the pain of the quake. I can't imagine what they must be going through. All of that put a measly hour and a half of waiting today in complete perspective.

Those are ramblings from me! Clemson just lost by two. Bummer man. I hate it when that happens. They fought so hard. But all in all they beat UNC and State in one week so they must have been tired... right? Bobby was very sweet about the UNC loss by the way. He didn't rub it in even once. He didn't even talk about the refs wearing "baby blue underwear". I'm guessing he knew they were burnt orange all along. kidding.

We are continuing to labor with all of God's energy on building our support team. Please pray that we would be able to finish strong. We need 20% more to be Dones-ville. (I've said Crazy Town and Donesville in this post. That is so Lames-burg) Thanks for your prayers as usual. I'm working on sprucing up the old blog.